Crafting Chaos - Madness in Meryton

 

Hello, Janeites! Today I am sharing another excerpt, and one final chance to win a free eBook of my new release, Madness in Meryton. This is my sixth Austen variation, and has proved to be the wildest ride yet; it is a Groundhog Day vagary – with a twist.

 The day being repeated is the day that Elizabeth meets George Wickham and hears his tale of woe, and I have reimagined it as Meryton’s monthly Market Day to heighten the chaos of Darcy and Elizabeth’s shared predicament.

 The excerpt I am sharing today is from one of my favorite chapters, where I spent the entire time I was writing it wondering if I had finally gone too far – although I confess this was a thought that I had more than once over the course of the story.

 Elizabeth has become unwillingly engaged to Mr. Darcy after he intervenes in Mr. Collins’ unwelcome proposal at Longbourn, immediately following Jane’s engagement to Mr. Bingley. Colonel Fitzwilliam arrives to stir the pot, and another layer is uncovered in the mystery of why Elizabeth Bennet is repeating the same day over again….

 ***

 Caroline Bingley received Richard with a little more warmth today, though he knew it was only because Georgiana was present. What little civility she had mustered to welcome her guests soon vanished when Richard insisted she accompany them to Longbourn to congratulate Bingley and the eldest Miss Bennet.

Georgiana handled it all brilliantly; without expecting any explanation for why Richard was so desirous that Caroline should join them, Georgiana sweetly cajoled her into acquiescence. 

“Perhaps I ought to go,” Caroline finally agreed, eyeing Richard with suspicion. “You will find the Bennets quite shocking - there are a great many of them, and it can be overpowering.”

Richard was certainly depending upon it. His primary objective was to afford Darcy some chance to speak privately with Elizabeth, and for all three of them to conspire in solving their shared dilemma. Georgiana could not manage it all; he was going to have to sow some discord. Caroline would do splendidly. 

Happily, Longbourn was not far, for Caroline spent the duration of the ride thither insisting that Richard was mistaken - her brother could not possibly be engaged to Jane Bennet. Darcy had not actually said so, but Richard felt sure of it. Caroline’s tantrum was going to be tremendous.

As the carriage stopped outside Longbourn and the passengers stepped down onto the gravel drive, Richard saw Charlotte Lucas approaching the house on foot. She perceived them as well, and waved in their direction. 

Georgiana smiled at Miss Lucas as she approached them. “Is that Miss Bennet?”

Richard looked over at Caroline. “Will you not introduce us?”

Caroline gave him a nasty look, but turned to address Miss Lucas; she was forestalled by the two youngest Miss Bennets running from the house, laughing. “Ugh,” she sighed. Then she drew her shoulders back and led Richard and Georgiana toward the house, bidding the other ladies good morning. She performed the introductions, but made no effort to conceal her disdain, and Richard could scarcely contain his amusement. Georgiana, on the other hand, looked mortified.

The young Bennet sisters were oblivious to Caroline’s incivility, and after they had admired Georgiana’s gown and flirted with Richard, they began to gossip with Miss Lucas instead of showing their guests inside. Richard found it excessively diverting.

“We were just on our way to the village,” Miss Lydia told Miss Lucas.

“I am just come from the market,” Charlotte replied. 

“The market,” Caroline repeated, her voice shrill.

“A monthly tradition in Meryton, Miss Bingley,” Miss Lucas replied. “I thought it strange the Bennets should be absent.”

“You will never believe it,” Miss Catherine cried.

“No Kitty, let me tell it,” Miss Lydia said, giving her sister an indecorous shove. “Well, Charlotte, what do you think! Mr. Bingley came this morning to propose to Jane.”

Miss Lucas smiled. “How wonderful!”

Richard glanced over at Caroline, who was clenching her jaw. She latched onto Richard’s arm, her grip almost hurting him. “How perfectly delightful,” he cried.

“And there is more,” Miss Catherine giggled. “You will never, ever believe it.”

“Mr. Collins - that is our cousin from Kent, odious fellow,” Miss Lydia laughed, “Mr. Collins proposed to Lizzy, but she would not have him, and then Mr. Darcy came and threatened to fight Mr. Collins, and now he is quarreling with Mamma and Papa for letting Lizzy and Mr. Darcy get engaged. Lord, it was so amusing!”

Miss Lucas smiled, but did not appear to share the Bennet girls’ surprise. “Lizzy and Mr. Darcy are engaged? Better and better.”

Georgiana latched onto Richard and squealed with happiness. “It is true? Let us go to them at once!”

Richard looked over at Caroline, who still held his arm. She had gone white as a sheet. “Are you well, Miss Bingley?”

“No,” she breathed. “I… I need to lie down.” She promptly fainted.

                                                                          ***

Longbourn was in uproar, and Elizabeth was at the center of the tempest. Mr. Darcy was still in her father’s study, and Mr. Collins was arguing his case to Mrs. Bennet, who began to profess a sudden esteem for Mr. Darcy - and a decided loss of interest in the wisdom of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Elizabeth had heard quite enough from her mother on the matter of her cleverly catching Mr. Darcy, and when Mary began playing her instrument, Elizabeth resolved to flee the house. 

Jane and Mr. Bingley had somehow evaded the madness and were still walking in the garden; Elizabeth did not have the heart to disturb them, and she went around to the front of the house. 

There she was arrested by an unexpected and bizarre tableau. Colonel Fitzwilliam was standing near the door, inexplicably holding Caroline Bingley in his arms. Charlotte was there, speaking with a pretty young blonde Elizabeth did not recognize. Lydia and Kitty were scampering off, laughing between themselves as they headed toward the village. Elizabeth scarcely knew what was going on anymore, but half of Meryton would hear of it soon enough. 

Charlotte waved and called out to Elizabeth, who hastened toward her guests. “Colonel, what has happened? Is Miss Bingley unwell?”

“Only in spirit, Lizzy,” Colonel Fitzwilliam quipped. 

Charlotte let out a strange sound, her eyes wide at the colonel’s familiarity, while the young woman at his side looked over at Elizabeth in surprise. “You know my cousin?”

With mounting confusion, Elizabeth silently chided herself for the faux pas. “I….”

“We met at the last market day,” the colonel said smoothly. “I was passing through the village - just for the day. Darcy introduced us; I remember it fondly.”

Charlotte muttered some protestation, but Elizabeth grabbed her hand and gave it a tight squeeze. She gaped at the colonel, the sudden comprehension stunning her into silence. Finally, Elizabeth broke into a wide smile. “I am so glad to see you again. Forgive me - do come into the house, all of you.”

“Thank you,” Colonel Fitzwilliam replied. “I should dearly love to set Miss Bingley down on a sofa somewhere.”

“Of course.” She led them inside, and into the drawing room. “What happened?”

The colonel gently lowered Miss Bingley onto a divan, and she began to rouse. “I believe she was carried away by her joy at the happy news.”

Charlotte hovered at Elizabeth’s side. “Is it true, Lizzy?”

The young blonde came forward and extended her hands, a shy smile on her face. “Are you Elizabeth Bennet?”

“I am.”

“Forgive me,” the colonel laughed. “May I present my cousin, Miss Georgiana Darcy. Georgie, meet your future sister.”

Elizabeth had but a moment to look at the girl in shock, vaguely considering that she was nothing at all like the proud creature Mr. Wickham has described. A moment later, Miss Darcy wrapped her arms around Elizabeth in a tight embrace. 

Miss Bingley sat upright and groaned. “This cannot be happening. I am dreaming, it is all a terrible dream.”

The colonel crouched down beside her, and took her hands in his. “Do you require a doctor, Miss Bingley? You are very pale - you look positively dreadful. Do you know where you are? How many fingers am I holding up?” He waved his hand in front of her face. 

Elizabeth beheld all this with increasing bewilderment; beside her, Miss Darcy let out a sharp breath as if restraining laughter. Somehow, Mary was still playing at her instrument, though Elizabeth only became aware of it when her mother swept into the room, scolding Mary to stop.

Mr. Collins entered on Mrs. Bennet’s heels, fussing in a shrill voice, his face red. “When my noble patroness hears of this, she will be most seriously displeased,” he insisted. 

Mrs. Bennet ignored him. “Oh, Charlotte! Have you come to congratulate Jane and Lizzy? Two proposals in one morning, what a happy day!” She fluttered her handkerchief for a moment, before belatedly realizing that Caroline Bingley was sprawled across the sofa, and two unknown persons were staring at her with open incredulity. 

“Mamma,” Elizabeth said, a warning edge in her voice. “May I present Miss Georgiana Darcy, Mr. Darcy’s sister, and their cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam.”

“Oh! Well, you are both very welcome! Mr. Darcy is speaking with Mr. Bennet, but you must make yourselves comfortable here. We are all in uproar, happy day!”

“Colonel Fitzwilliam?” Mr. Collins approached the colonel in a posture that was at once groveling and righteously indignant. “I am William Collins of Hunsford,” he said.

The colonel grinned. “Hunsford! Not Hunsford, near Rosings, in Kent?”

“The very same, sir,”

“My dear fellow, I am very sorry for you,” Colonel Fitzwilliam laughed. “My aunt is a dreadful tyrant.”

Miss Bingley gasped, Miss Darcy snorted with laughter, Mrs. Bennet’s jaw fell open, and Charlotte reached for Elizabeth with a questioning look. Mr. Collins sputtered stupidly. “I beg your pardon! Her ladyship has shown me the greatest condescension and civility - and I cannot permit my foolish cousin to defy her wishes, to ensnare Mr. Darcy in such a shameful alliance, which is so far beneath his dignity, and an embarrassment to his fair cousin Miss de Bourgh.”

The colonel shook his head and tutted at Mr. Collins. “Then you have bet on the wrong horse.”

“It is not true,” Miss Darcy said, her voice trembling. She looked at Elizabeth in some panic. “William is not really engaged to Cousin Anne.”

“Of course he is not,”Mrs. Bennet huffed. “Dear Miss Darcy, what a lovely creature you are! I hope you will stay a while and visit - but we must have some refreshments. Hill, Hill! But you must meet my other girls - Lizzy, where are your sisters?”

“Mrs. Bennet,” Mr. Collins cried, “I beg you to understand me, this alliance cannot be permitted. Lady Catherine shall hear of this - she shall put a stop to it. I shall not stay another moment in this house if you do not talk some sense into your daughter, for she would be the ruin of such a great man!”

Miss Bingley roared with indecorous laughter. Elizabeth bristled with rage, and Charlotte  clasped her hand tighter.

The colonel laughed again. “Mr. Collins, you really are an ass.”

“Colonel Fitzwilliam,” Miss Bingley cried, standing up shakily. “We must depart at once - I am not at all well. Mrs. Bennet, where is my brother?”

Again Mrs. Bennet looked at Elizabeth. “Lizzy? Where are Jane and Mr. Bingley?”

“They have gone off together?” Mr. Collins raised a hand to his chest and gasped. “Mrs. Bennet, I must insist you endeavor to control your daughters!”

As everyone continued to speak over one another in increasingly raised voices, Elizabeth cast an imploring glance at Charlotte, who still appeared very much in want of an explanation. Elizabeth could only shake her head in dismay at the scene unfolding around them; she could not begin to make sense of the chaos. 

Charlotte eyed Elizabeth with concern, and turned to address Mr. Collins. “Sir, I believe I must return home to Lucas Lodge. Would you care to walk with me? If you wish to remove yourself from the house, I am sure my family would be happy to entertain you.”

Mrs. Hill came into the room with the tea things, and at last everybody fell silent. She smiled, oblivious to the tension, and on her way out of the room she stopped to offer Elizabeth her congratulations. Elizabeth could only whimper and nod her head.

“Mrs. Bennet,” the colonel drawled, surveying the room as if nothing was amiss, “I believe you were asking after your eldest daughter, and Mr. Bingley - allow me to retrieve them for you.” He made  a very gallant bow. “Cousin Lizzy, you must walk with me, and we shall bring them back inside to celebrate with us all. No, Miss Bingley, you must stay here and rest, you are looking much fatigued - Georgiana?”

“Indeed, Miss Bingley - let me bring you some tea,” Miss Darcy said. She met Elizabeth’s eye and winked, and then Colonel Fitzwilliam offered Elizabeth his arm and swept her from the room.

***

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